Hello there. Still trying to come to terms with the shame an embarressment of phoning the ex in a drunken stupor. I do love the gin dearly but it does have a tendency to make me do very foolish things. In fact I can safely say that a good ninety percent of my idiotic decisions are the result of too much gin soaking my brain with its atoms of ill-judgement. Gin: a cruel ice queen mistress, yet tasty, zesty and ideal for erection maintenance.
So, back to my quest. I tried Mr Wiseman's suggestion of talking to a complete stranger as a way of improving your luck. Sadly my attempt was a complete disaster and I was left feeling humiliated. I needed to retreat and lick my wounds before embarking upon an investigation into starting a conversation with a complete stranger.
I decided that I needed some expert advice about mental and spritual health. My self-esteem, following the stranger/conversation mission, has completely plummeted. This leads us on to the calming advice meted out from The Barefoot Doctor.
In the Barefoot Doctor's book "Liberation" he suggests a range of practical hands-on techniques to aid those with low spirits, low self-esteem and general all round fuck ups. I happily include myself here, I hasten to add.
The book has fifty-odd chapters tackling everything that ails us in these modern times, from lonliness to fear of success. I could've happily covered every chapter which had an ailment from which I suffered, but I must focus.
I was feeling like a failure because of my ineptetude in starting a conversation with a complete stranger. To boost my confidence, the good doctor suggests caressing my liver and breathing deeply, repeating a mantra that would hypnotically increase my sense of self worth and aid my ailing confidence.
I decided to take off my clothes to perform this exercise. I sat on the edge of my and began vigrously rubbing my torso, in the area where I believe my poor, sick liver resides. I was unfortunately disturbed by Mum who didn't know where to look as she entered my room and I was rubbing away, repeating my mantra, "You can do it, you're a man." She was quiet for the rest of the day.
posted by Davy @ 2:59 AM
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